I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship
by frayedoptician
Summary: Takari. Hikari says something she didn't mean to and misunderstandings follow all around. The name is from the Studio Killers song "Jenny" because I feel like it describes my view of their friendship. There's also a tiny bit of Daiken because they are my OTP.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**

 **I don't own Digimon or any of these characters.**

 **This is my first FanFic but I'd be happy to hear what everyone thinks of it. It was actually supposed to be a short one-shot but then shit just kept falling out of my mouth, so this is what happened. I might change things later but probably not.**

 _ **Chapter 1**_

It was after midnight on Wednesday when she burst through the doors of his apartment.

He had been sitting on the couch for the better part of an hour starting at the empty screen of the TV, and picking at a thread on the hem if his shirt. He let his mind meandered over the events of the previous week, occasionally eddying around some memory before continuing its course. His earlier mishap had left him feeling addled and unusually introspective, an unfortunate combination. The flow of his thoughts, however, was abruptly interrupted by the petite brunette who, conveniently, was the only other person who had keys to his apartment. He almost regretted giving them to her as didn't even knock before unlocking and flinging open his front door.

He was both surprised by, and entirely expecting her forceful entry into his living space, as he knew it was only a matter of time before the news found its way to her; probably grossly exaggerated by his teammates. So as she stood in the doorway, panting lightly, he looked up at her from his nest on the couch and gave her crooked, if somewhat dazed, smile.  
She didn't like that much. Her warm cinnamon eyes, which had previously been wide with concern, narrowed as her delicate mouth pressed into a scowl. She seemed to check him up and down before she spoke. 

"Why didn't I get a phone call about this, Takeru? I had to find out from one of your teammates." There was some anger in her voice, but concern mixed with hurt still prevailed. 

"It's not that big of a deal." He replied softly, his blue eyes doing their best to reassure her of that fact. He sort of thought she was cute when she was angry, but then again she was always cute. She was not reassured by his words or his eyes. 

"You have a head injury." 

"It's just a minor concussion." 

"You had to leave in the middle of a game. The coach had to drive you to the hospital." The anger in her tone was becoming increasingly overshadowed by worry. 

"That's just standard procedure. The school takes concussions really seriously, Athlete Services even makes us do these workshops like twice a year, and we get free physical therapy and I get note takers for classes that I miss and-" 

"I don't care!" She interrupted. "You still should have told me." 

"Hikari..." Despite her sharp tone, he could see her panic fading. He suspected that although she would still be irritated with him, he would be forgiven. "I'm sorry."  
She pressed her lips together for a few moments before she accepted, rolling her eyes a bit.

"I know." She grumbled as she closed the door she had left wide open in her panic, and made her way over to sit next to him on the couch.

She sat down and promptly tucked her knees up to her chest. Her delicate fingers then found their way to his hand and grasped it tightly as they had many times before.  
The pair was comfortable with each other's touch. They would often snuggle up together while watching movies or taking afternoon naps. Hugs were exchanged freely and they were used to placing gentle kisses on cheeks, foreheads, or noses. This was just another part of their friendship as it had existed for over a decade. They were equally comfortable with correcting anyone who confused these gestures for romantic or sexual. Their relationship had always been platonic in nature and neither of them had made any move to change that, no matter their private thoughts. 

They sat in comfortable silence for several minutes. Hikari had inched closer to her blonde friend and her other hand had unwrapped itself from her own knees to reach out to trace undulating lines up and down his forearm. She did this absentmindedly, more out of habit than anything, but she knew that he enjoyed the sensation from the way he relaxed under her touch, and she liked being able to feel to the soft skin on the underside of his arm and the delicately toned musculature that underlay it.

"I thought you were still mad at me." Takeru finally broke the silence. Hikari looked at him with confusion in her warm eyes. 

"From last week? We had a fight, remember." He continued, regretting having brought it up, but their fight had been on his mind earlier and he didn't like to leave things unresolved between them. 

Remembering the incident, she blushed slightly in embarrassment, she was normally calm and gentle, but sometimes the pressures of the world affected her more than she cared to admit. She shrugged and smiled somewhat bashfully.

"If anything, you should be mad at me. Blame it on the hangover. I overreacted. I actually like the tattoo, now that I'm used to the idea."

00000

On Saturday afternoon Hikari had hobbled to the door of her dorm after hearing a knock. She had only just woken up and had been fiddling with the curtains, trying to close out the single, persistent stream of sunlight which seemed to always shine in her face no matter where in the small room she sat.  
She was normally grateful for the large window, which faced west providing her with a view of the sunset as well as plenty of afternoon light. Her days usually began with her throwing open the curtains and enjoying a strong cup of tea. But today, with her head throbbing and stomach doing acrobatics from the previous night's adventure, she despised the window as well as the brightness it allowed into her carefully darkened den.

She was still wearing her cartoon kitten-covered pyjamas when she opened the door for a very enthusiastic Takeru. His brightness and ubiquitous smile, no matter the situation, was something she loved about him. Today, however, with his blonde hair and bright blue eyes, and his shining grin, she couldn't help but think he was just like that persistent ray of light shining through the curtains: determined to remind her of all the bad decisions she had made last night. She reminded herself that he wasn't intentionally rubbing his mental alertness in her face, but her sour mood was indomitable. He strode into her room and his eyes narrowed as he looked her up and down. A slight smirk appeared on his lips as he spoke.

"You had fun last night." His voice was the first she'd heard since rolling out of bed a short while ago and it was too loud. The aching in her head increased in intensity.

"What happened after I left?" 

Hikari and Takeru had been dragged out by Hikari's friends to a club frequented by the university's population. Both had avoided alcohol in favour of dancing, but after Takeru had gone home with some cute boy with dark hair and hipster glasses, Hikari had willingly given in to her other friends' encouragements that she indulge in a few drinks. 

"Drinking, dancing, more drinking. I made out with some guy." It was the first sentence she had spoken all day and she was entirely unsurprised to find that her voice was hoarse. Takeru nodded in response—he had guessed as much- and grinned. 

"Remind me not to leave you alone with those girls again." He joked. Normally she would have come up with a witty response and they would have laughed and joked together. Today, however, the pain in her head kept her silent and she just rubbed her eyes for the millionth time. 

After he concluded that she wouldn't respond, he continued with the original intention of his visit. He started to remove his shirt.  
Hikari was alarmed by his impromptu stiptease. 

"What are you-" 

"I'm showing you something." 

Hikari wasn't sure what he meant and she was still thrown by his actions, but after he had fully removed his T-shirt he turned his back to her and she instantly saw what he was trying to show her.

Although she would never admit it to anyone, she had the topography of his body memorized. She had had many, much appreciated opportunities to admire the smooth skin of his back and how it delicately revealed the strong and lean muscles underneath. 

Now, however, there was an interruption of the soft skin between his shoulder blades in the shape of a shooting star. It was his crest, the crest of hope, outlined in black and filled in golden yellow with delicate highlighting that gave it an almost three dimensional appearance, although right now it had a slight haze to it. It was only about 5cm high, but to Hikari it was a major interruption. She reached out to softly touch the mark. It was raised slightly and rough where a scab had started to form over it. There was a slight sheen to the area where she assumed he had applied lotion to help the healing. She withdrew her hand abruptly. The skin she had been so familiar with had been permanently marked. Rather unexpectedly, tears started to put more pressure behind her eyes.

When he turned around to face her, still grinning and expectant, his face fell when he saw what appeared to be disgust on his friends face. 

"You don't like it?" His tone was disappointed, even hurt. There was a prolonged silence. 

"Why would you do that?" She responded, surprised by the sharpness in her own voice. 

"I thought... You really don't like it?"

Words flew from her mouth without permission from her brain. She intended to hurt him, although she couldn't understand why. 

"Now you're stuck with it forever. Your body is scarred for life, not to mention nobody's going to hire you if you have a tattoo." She was aware that there was little chance of an employer ever seeing the tattoo, but she wasn't mentally aware enough to care. Her head which had previously been aching now felt like it was being repeatedly punched from the inside and her stomach was still doing flips. 

Anger flared in Takeru's bright eyes. 

"Well it's my body and I can do whatever I want with it." His voice grew steadily louder until he was nearly yelling. "I thought it would be nice to do something to pay tribute to the time we spent there, and the thing we sacrificed, the friends we made... And I thought it would be good to have a reminder to always stay hopeful. I thought you would understand that, at least." 

Hikari couldn't focus on his words through the pounding of her head. She knew she was overreacting, but at the moment everything was overwhelming and his yelling want helping.

"I can't do this right now." She shut her eyes tightly and pushed him towards the door.

He didn't fight it. He hated fighting with his best friend, so it was probably better that he leave now. He spun and marched out the door, still shirtless and clutching his shirt in his hand, and she slammed the door behind him.

Back to the silent solitude of her dark room, Hikari grabbed a couple of painkillers from a bottle she kept in a drawer of her desk, and she hid under the covers and fell back asleep.

 **Note**

 **The tattoo and its placement is inspired by my own (which is the crest of knowledge, not hope). Also my friend group tends to be really physically affectionate with one another so I imagine Takari having the same sort of comfort level. Finally, Takeru in my head is bi. This is probably also a product of my friend group because over 50% of us are some shade of not-straight and I often forget that this is not the norm. For the record I am the least straight. Rant over. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**

 **I don't own Digimon or any of these characters.**

 _ **Chapter 2**_

Hikari's mind drew up the memory of the golden starburst on Takeru's back. She sat next to her concussed best friend, still drawing on his forearm, her fingers forming the letters of her name, and then his. Although the tattoo had been a rather unwelcome surprise, she had since adjusted. She wouldn't tell him, but she actually thought it was kind of hot.

"Is it healed now?" She asked him. 

"Not quite." He responded. "The scab is gone though, so it looks a bit clearer." 

He looked at her for a moment before speaking hesitantly. 

"Do you... Do you want to see it?" 

Hikari smiled the way she should have smiled when he showed it to her in the first place, and nodded in response. 

To her mild disappointment, this time he didn't remove his shirt, he instead undid the top few buttons of his flannel shirt and, turning his back to her, slid it just off the top of his shoulders. He was right, it was clearer. She could see the careful shading and had to appreciate the subtle artistry that went in to the small image. She once again traced it lightly with her fingers and found that it was smooth this time, but still slightly raised.

"Did it hurt?" She cringed slightly at the thought of the needle pushing ink under her friend's skin. She had read up on the process and was aware of the risk of infection, but she refrained from bringing it up. Takeru was smart and responsible and she was sure he had thought this over carefully.

"Surprisingly little. If anything the vibrations felt a little uncomfortable, but I honestly was expecting it to be a lot worse."

Hikari once again returned her attention to the emblem, running her fingers over the five tiny triangles. 

"It's beautiful." She said in a whisper.

Not wanting to remove her fingertips from his warm skin, she traced them along his spine towards his neck, then across his shoulder as she wrapped her arm around him. Her other arm made its way around him and she gave a quick squeeze before she released him. Then, in a slightly louder voice she said

"But if it's on your back, you'll never get to see it."

He shrugged then started to readjust his shirt before doing up the buttons. He hadn't wanted to break the skin-to-skin contact between them that made him shiver slightly in pleasure, but she had released him. 

"It's not really for me. It's for you, and everyone else." 

She nodded and they settled back into their previous position. She held his hand. 

"Not that I'm not enjoying your company, but shouldn't you go home and sleep? You have a midterm tomorrow afternoon, right?" 

"Nice try, but I know how this concussion thing works, I grew up with Taichi as a brother after all. You're supposed to be monitored for 24 hours. If my calculations are correct, that means you're stuck with me for 19 more hours." 

Her sometimes reckless brother had suffered from more than one concussion during his adolescence, after all the soccer balls he took to the head, Hikari was surprised more permanent damage hadn't been done. The silver lining of this was that she was quite comfortable caring for her injured friend now. He had been knocked to the ground during a basketball game at about 8:00 that evening and she looked at the clock where she found it was nearly 1:00 am. 

"You don't have to do that Hikari. I'm really fine and I can always call Yamato or mum or someone if I need anything." 

"Or..." The brunette responded, "You could accept my generous offer, since I'm already here. I was thinking of pulling an all-nighter anyways so this just gives me a reason."

Takeru hesitated momentarily before concluding that she probably wouldn't take no for an answer, and he had to admit he was feeling a bit woozy. Not to mention he appreciated the company, especially hers.

"Fine." 

Hikari smiled triumphantly. 

"Great" she said, "then I'll study for my microbiology midterm, and you can watch TV or something." 

The TV wasn't actually attached to anything. It was just a screen which had been used about 2 times when his brother had brought a gaming system so they could play video games. The remainder of the time, the TV just sat collecting dust. Takeru didn't really feel like explaining this to Hikari, so he just ignored the last part of her statement. 

"Are the students on your floor going to be OK without you there to take care of them?" he asked her only partly sarcastically. 

"They're not babies, they'll be fine." She replied. 

Takeru and Hikari had both spent their first year of university in the dorms, as was customary for first years. They were now in second year and Hikari had chosen to become a Residence Advisor in one of the dorms. This was partly because she enjoyed being able to act as a mentor for the younger students, but mostly due to the fact that as an RA she had her housing as well as a meal plan provided in exchange for monitoring the floor and handing out condoms to its residents as needed. 

Not having to spend money on rent and groceries lifted a lot of financial pressure off of her and her family. Takeru had an athletic scholarship which covered most of his tuition so he had decided to get an apartment close to campus so as to have his own space, since money was less of an issue. 

He had enjoyed the privacy, but always looked forward to the company of the girl who had now settled onto the floor of his living room, her notes spread around her. She was beautiful, with her eyebrows furrowed as she read and reread the notes, apparently trying to commit the characteristics of the seven Baltimore classes to memory.

He was happy with their relationship, but he had accepted long ago that he loved her more than he should. Despite this, he would never do anything to threaten their friendship, it was the thing he held most sacred.

Hikari studied her notes in silence, only looking up occasionally to steal glances at her best friend. He was sitting on the couch and appeared to just be watching her study. His gaze made colour rise to her cheeks but she was sure he mustn't mean anything by it; that he must just be dazed from the concussion. She used her brief glances to study the odd expression on his face, and couldn't help the small part of her mind that kept reminding her how attractive he was, just sitting there. During the hours that she studied he got up and made himself a cup of tea, then another a little while later, but other than that he just sat there quietly.

Hikari stood up suddenly, making Takeru realize that he was staring at her quite intensely. She looked at him for a few seconds, her cheeks slightly pink to match the colour now tinting his own cheeks, before she spoke. 

"Cookie dough." Was all she said. 

Takeru understood her perfectly. 

Hikari made her way to the kitchen where she started to collect the ingredients for oatmeal cookie dough. This was a recipe both she and Takeru knew from memory. He joined her in the kitchen and grabbed a bowl and spoons as well as the final few ingredients. 

Hikari started to mix things together as she had done a hundred times before and Takeru stood by waiting for her to give him orders. It had become tradition when one of them was stressed or sad or sick or anything really to make cookie dough which they would both eat directly from the bowl, not even pretending that they were going to bake it. It had started sometime during their second adventure in the digital world, neither was sure exactly when, but it had since become their go-to coping mechanism for any feeling, be they positive or negative. It was a tradition. Also it was delicious.

The sticky, sweet mess was nearly complete when Hikari suddenly stopped. 

"What is it?" Takeru was concerned at his friend's sudden pause. 

"I just remembered that you're not really supposed to eat anything heavy for a while yet." She felt silly for having forgotten that her primary reason for being there had been to care for her friend. He had been acting fairly normal throughout the evening, staring notwithstanding, so she wondered if he felt sick at all, or if he was just doing a fine job of hiding it.

"I think I'll be fine. I haven't be nauseous at all. But if it'll make you feel better I'll go easy on the dough."

He was smiling brightly which made Hikari's mouth turn up into a sweet smile as well. Now that made the blonde dizzy, but for reasons unrelated to his head injury.

She accepted this and grabbed his hand as well as the bowl of completed cookie dough, making her way towards the couch and pushing Takeru down first before nestling under his arm and placing the bowl so it rested on both of their laps. Takeru handed her a spoon and kept one for himself. She held up her spoon and in faux seriousness said

"Now we eat our troubles away"

Takeru couldn't help but snort at that logic

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works." He laughed.

"Oh shut up." Hikari shoved a spoonful of cookie dough into his mouth to stop his laughing, but she was laughing too.

He made a mock sad face but with the handle of the spoon still protruding from his mouth, even he couldn't hold it together. The spent a few minutes laughing around spoonfuls of sweetness then Hikari moved the bowl to the other end of the couch and looked up at him, her mouth slowly settling a tight line as she bit her bottom lip. Her brown eyes were still smiling but they were showing indications of some question she wanted to ask him.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, she lifted her hand to gingerly touch his forehead, just at his hairline. Her small fingers then drifted up to brush his golden hair away from his face slightly, before coming to rest gently just above his ear.

"Does you head hurt?"

Takeru released a breath he hadn't realized had caught in his throat at her touch.

"Not really, I took a couple of acetaminophen when I got home. And I forget all about the pain when I'm around you."

He wasn't sure what made him say the last part but he regretted it. It felt too much like he was toeing the line in their friendship he promised himself he wouldn't cross. He blushed and broke eye contact briefly before regaining composure and shooting the brunette girl a goofy smile to cover his tracks.

Her expression remained neutral but her mind was busy sorting through the interaction. She found it easy to settle into their friendship as it had existed since they were eight years old, but every once in a while he would say or do something that made her wonder if there was something more between them. His comment made her heart skip a beat. It made her long for him to say such things to her, not as her friend, but as something else. The grin he flashed afterwards reminded her, however, that he meant it only in friendship, that he only ever wanted friendship from her.

"I need you… I need you to be safe."

She hadn't expected the words to come out of her mouth, and she wasn't entirely sure where they had come from, but they were out. Takeru studied her expression carefully as she spoke and saw it change from neutral composure to something that lurked behind: almost… desperation. He was startled by her sudden display of emotion.

"I'm safe. I'm here." He grasped her hand in one of his and used the other to sweep her hair behind her ear. "I wouldn't do anything to take me away from you."

"I know…" she said, the desperation creeping into her voice. She wasn't sure what exactly made her feel so desperate, but she was almost sure it wasn't related to his head injury. "I know."

He didn't like how mechanical her last statement had been, or how she seemed to be distancing herself from him slightly now. He held her to him more tightly then before, now becoming desperate himself.

"I'm safe. I promise."

Hikari unwound herself from his grip, her expression blank, but her posture sunken slightly.

She grabbed the bowl with the remaining cookie dough and made her way to the kitchen to put it away. As she left the living room she spoke in a tone that matched her body language.

"You should get some sleep."

"Hikari..." He just wanted her to smile, or be sad, or something, but something had clearly caused her to close off, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Go to bed. I'll be here. I'll wake you in the morning."

Takeru didn't know what to say. He didn't argue. He made his way into his bedroom and closed the door, taking one final glance at the girl standing, shoulders slightly slumped, in his living room.

 **Note**

 **I'm in university and that's sort of how things work at my school: first year in residence then you get a house or apartment off campus unless you're a Don or RA. Also I'm really bad at feelings so I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense to anyone other than me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**

 **I don't own Digimon or any of these characters.**

 _ **Chapter 3**_

A while later Hikari sat in her place on Takeru's floor surrounded by notes that she hadn't been able focus on since she sent Takeru to bed. She was surprised at herself. Embarrassed about her outburst and the feelings that caused it. Admittedly sleep deprivation was probably causing her emotions to go haywire, but that wasn't all. He didn't realize that his affection for her confused her. It wasn't his fault that every time he said something that made her stomach flutter, it hurt her. This wasn't his fault, it was hers, and now she had to put on her best performance to make this right.

It was with that thought in mind that she threw open his door in the morning and leaped on to the bed where he lay.

Takeru startled awake, panic momentarily taking over before he ascertained that it was his best friend who had jumped on him. She hovered over him now, her small hands on either side of his head and face centimeters from his, grinning playfully. 

"Good morning sunshine." There was no trace of their previous interaction now. 

"Good morning to you."

He grabbed her by the waist and expertly flipped her so she lay on her back, and he took her place looking down at her. He savoured the closeness. They were both grinning, but the smile disappeared from his face as a wave of dizziness hit him from the sudden movement. His head spun and his arms started to quiver. He quickly rolled to one side to avoid crushing her with his body weight and closed his eyes, pushing his palm to his temple as he waited for the nausea to pass. His eyes closed, he missed the sudden look of concern that overtook his best friend's face. 

"I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking! I shouldn't have-" he blindly reached out in the direction of her face and found purchase somewhere on her cheekbone before walking his hand over to cover her mouth. He opened his eyes to see her wide cinnamon eyes staring at him over his hand, still clearly worried.

"It's fine, everything's good. I just had a moment." He paused then blurted out "I can't think of a person I'd rather wake up to in the morning."

He was now certain that this concussion was determined to ruin his friendship.

In an effort to cover up the slip up he sat up rather abruptly and threw his feet over the side of the bed, then stood up much more carefully as a second, smaller rush of dizziness made the room spin slightly. Hikari had inched to the edge of the bed as well and studied his face before deciding to drop it. Her stomach had fluttered at his comment. She smiled again as she stood up. 

"Coffee? Tea? Smoothie?" 

He gave her a knowing glace as they made their way towards the kitchen. 

"You know the answer to that." 

She did. He only ever drank tea. 

Hikari put the kettle on and grabbed a mug and tea bag from their respective places on the shelves as her blonde friend settled into a chair at the small kitchen table. She joined him while she waited for the kettle to boil. 

"So my midterm is at 2:00 and I should be back by 4:30, do you want me to get Yamato or someone over to watch you while I'm gone or can I trust you to take care of yourself for two hours?" 

He rolled his eyes in response. 

"I'm not 8 years old any more Hikari, I'll be fine on my own." 

"Really? Because two weeks ago I saw you miss your mouth while trying to eat a ketchup sandwich. Nothing about that says 'responsible adult' to me."

She smirked as he closed his eyes in embarrassment. She was never going to let him forget that, was she? He smiled despite himself and they both laughed.

When the kettle boiled she got up and poured her friend his cup of tea and handed it to him before pouring herself another cup of coffee from the pot she had made sometime during the night. 

He noticed this and his brow furrowed.

"Please tell me you got some sleep last night and you're not just running on caffeine." He sounded exasperated.

"Okay. I got some sleep last night and I'm not just running on caffeine."

"Are you lying?" 

"Yes." She stuck out her tongue and smiled impishly. "I'm fine! See." She said, standing and turning a pirouette before returning to the seat across from him. 

"I'll sleep when I've written this exam, and I'm no longer worried that you'll pass out every time that you move." 

"Fine." He gave in, she was persistent, after all.

"Great." She grinned.

The pair had spent the morning chatting and helping Hikari prepare for her midterm. Takeru had nearly forgotten about the previous night's odd interaction. Nearly. But still he wondered what he had done to cause her to shut down like that. She sat across from him, smiling as she picked at leftover Pad Thai that had been in his fridge from earlier in the week. He had eaten his serving as soon as he had pulled it from the microwave, so he sat across from her watching her eat.

"Hikari?"

"Mmh."

"Why did you act so strange last night?" He asked in as comforting a tone as he could manage.

Hikari's smile faltered for a fraction of a second. She had hoped her performance this morning had been enough to convince him that nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

"I was just tired, Takeru."

That wasn't enough. There must have been something. He must have done something.

"Okay… But if there's something bothering you you'll tell me, right?"

What she intended to say was ' _Yes of course, I tell you everything Takeru."_ But instead her exhaustion, which had been only been shoddily painted over with caffeine and laughter, got the better of her.

"There are some things, Takeru, that I can't tell anyone, even you. Especially you. Because if I tell you what I feel for you and you don't feel the same…"

The words escaped her mouth before she had a chance to stop them. A startled expression settled over her best friend's face as he tried to process the meaning behind her words. During the moments he took to consider what had just happened, Hikari threw her hands up to cover her backstabbing mouth, and she ran.

Takeru meant to say something. Anything. Or at least try to stop his best friend from fleeing his apartment. Instead he just sat there mutely. He was still so stunned at her words, which hinted at something he had secretly wanted for years, but would never admit to. Was it really possible that she had been sitting on similar feelings? This seemed too easy. He must have misheard her, or misunderstood her words, after all she hadn't _really_ admitted to anything. It was too late though, a feeling had now dug its roots in his heart, a feeling he knew well.

It was hope.

00000

As Hikari ran, only a few thoughts actually managed to solidify in her mind. At the front, nearly overpowering all others, was the thought that her earlier slip up had probably permanently damaged her most important friendship. This was the thing that her brain kept screaming at her as she made her way back to her dorm, causing tears to escape her eyes.

Somewhere behind that omnipresent thought was the rational part of her mind that reminded her of the midterm she had to write in about half an hour. That part of her mind also informed her that Takeru was still concussed, and since she wouldn't be returning to take care of him, she should call Yamato to take her place.

The final thought, at the very back of her mind, was one she tried desperately to squash. It was a sort of relief at having admitted her feelings, coupled with a dangerous hope that now that he knew how she felt, he would love her back.

 **Note**

 **I'm quite fond of tea.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**

 **I don't own Digimon or any of these characters.**

 _ **Chapter 4**_

A thirteen year old Hikari stared at her best friend across the lunch table. He wore his usual smile as he carefully poured curry over his container of rice. Takeru looked up to see her staring and raised his eyebrows in response.

"I know I'm pretty irresistible, but your staring is kind of making me nervous."

The girl across from him blushed and looked down at the table.

"What's up, Hikari? You've been quiet all day."

"Well, something happened this morning and I've been trying to think of a way to tell you."

Worry filled her friend's eyes.

"You know you can tell me anything."

She nodded curtly and composed her thoughts before she spoke.

"Gou asked me on a date, and I said yes." She carefully analyzed his reaction.

He paused momentarily, staring at her, then started laughing.

"Why is that funny?" She was offended.

"It's not," He continued to chortle "you were just so serious, I thought something bad had happened."

Hikari scowled at him. From over Takeru's shoulder a familiar voice rang out.

"Ugh, something bad happened? What is it this time?" Miyako said as she took a seat next to Takeru. Daisuke joined them as well.

"Does it have to do with the digital world?" Daisuke said, sitting next to Hikari and picking a French fry off of her plate before she could swat his hand away.

He popped the fry into his mouth as he said "Whatever it is I'm sure we can handle it."

"Don't be so sure Daisuke, this one's a doozy." Takeru said, shifting his lunch to make room for the purple haired girl's food. "Hikari has a boyfriend."

Daisuke froze with his hand hovering over Hikari's plate of fries, old habits telling him to make a scene, but now he found that he was genuinely happy for his friend.

Miyako didn't seem surprised.

"Gou got to you I guess? He asked me if you had anyone special last week and I told him you were 100% single." She said, turning her finger in the ASL sign for 'single' to accent her point.

"Eh, look at you, you man-eater." Their goggle-headed friend said teasingly.

Hikari was bright red and staring down at the food in front of her. So she missed the boy approaching from behind and placing his hands over Daisuke's eyes.

"Guess who."

"Gosh, I don't know. Could it be the boy genius, Ichijouji Ken?" Daisuke replied, smiling in the way he only ever did when Ken was around.

"I hear he just goes by Ken now." The blue haired boy said as he sat down next to Daisuke. "Who's the man-eater?"

"Hikari." Miyako chirped. "She has a boyfriend now."

"That's great." Ken said, smiling gently. Hikari finally looked up from her plate, turning to her friend to thank him and smiling as she noticed the two boys' hands entwined under the table.

"Thank you. You're the only one who's said anything positive about this." She threw accusatory glances at the other three patrons of the table.

"Hey! I think it's awesome, Hikari. Gou seems cool." Takeru gave her a warm smile across the table.

Hikari would have been lying if she said her heart hadn't fell a little when he said that. There was a part of her that had hoped he would be jealous, but he seemed just as genuine as her other friends who also put aside their joking to congratulate her. She had no idea just how much effort he had to put in to make it appear as such. He put in every ounce of cheerfulness he could muster to cover up his disappointment that she had chosen Gou over him. That wasn't really fair, as he had never presented himself as an option, but he still couldn't help his jealousy, and his anger at Gou who in his mind could never be deserving of the wonderful person Hikari was. Takeru was determined, however, not to let these feelings show. So instead he smiled and laughed with the rest of them.

Her relationship with Gou didn't last long, but so many other milestones passed for both of them in this way. Takeru saw Hikari go on her first date with Gou, during which she had her first kiss. He held her and made her infinite cups of tea and spoonfuls of cookie dough as she cried over her first breakup a few months later. He saw her go on first dates with other boys, sometimes followed by second dates, and a lucky few had the privilege of calling her their girlfriend. He, not her girlfriends, was the one she called excitedly the morning after she had lost her virginity during their final year of high school. Through all of this he could only smile and support her as he tried to mask the pain of not being one of the special ones who got to be romantically entangled with her.

Takeru didn't let that hurt stop him from creating his own milestones though. His first girlfriend had come when he was 14, short-lived though the relationship was, then a year later his first boyfriend with whom he had shared his first kiss. He had had a handful of relationships, even fewer hookups and a broken heart or two of his own. And through all of this Hikari watched, masking a pain that was identical to his, and equally well disguised.

There were a few milestones, however, that they had saved for each other. Takeru had accompanied Hikari to their prom, only as friends, of course, but that hadn't stopped them both from devising the most comically elaborate prom-posals they could come up with. It also hadn't stopped them from enjoying a night of dancing and laughing together when the event had come around to end their days in high school. When they both went off to university together they also went to their first party together, got drunk together for the first time, and went through the horror of exams together, everything together. Their friendship, which they had fallen into so naturally when they were eight, had only grown stronger over the years, and their buried feeling for one another had never weakened that bond.

Until now.

That was the thought that overwhelmed Hikari's mind as she sat down to write her microbiology midterm, Shotgun cloning and capsid structure far from her thoughts. She had ruined everything. After all of those years of pretending, simple exhaustion had been her undoing. As the midterm was distributed she mechanically wrote her student number on the upper corner of each of the 12 pages, but he was all over her thoughts. She didn't know how to fix this.

00000

In his apartment, Takeru laid on the living room floor in the exact spot she had occupied mere hours ago. He had let her escape. As the time passed he became more and more certain that he had been right about what Hikari had meant, and more and more sure that he had done irreparable damage in saying nothing. Now she probably thought that he didn't share her feelings. If it had, in fact been what she meant, then she was somewhere else, thinking that he didn't love her like that. He wanted desperately to tell her that he did; that he always had, but she was unreachable right now.

His heart leapt when he heard a knock at the door.

"Hikari!" He rose from the floor, too quickly, and swayed slightly before regaining his balance and sprinting to the door. "Thank god you came back, I need to tell you—"

His heart was crushed again as he opened the door to a pair a familiar blue eyes, framed by a mane of blonde hair, just a few shades lighter than his own.

"Yamato" He knew he sounded disappointed, but he didn't care.

"Wow, great to see you too little brother. You couldn't muster up a little enthusiasm though?"

Takeru didn't respond, he just turned around dejectedly and walked back towards the couch. His entire body clearly spoke his feelings. He threw himself face first onto the couch, burying his head into a pillow. He swore he could smell faint traces of her on the upholstery, but he might have been imagining things. He lifted his head slightly to stare at the fabric of the couch, which, he observed, had a faint herringbone pattern. His brother's presence had slipped from his scattered mind, so he startled slightly when Yamato spoke again.

"What happened between you and Hikari?"

He had come around to sit on the edge of the couch by his brother's feet. Takeru shifted onto his side.

"How did you know something happened with Hikari and me?"

Yamato made an ' _it's obvious'_ face.

"She called me to come over here to look after you—thanks for telling me you got a concussion, by the way—and she sounded upset. Not to mention I heard you yelling through the door before you answered it."

There was a long silence.

"What do you need to tell her?"

Another long silence passed as Yamato gave his younger brother time to give him an answer. When he finally spoke, Takeru sounded beaten down.

"I'm an idiot, _onii-chan._ She told me something and I just sat there like a moron and now she thinks I hate her."

Yamato just nodded. He let his brother do the talking, just there to help, not to pry. Neither of them spoke for a long while as Takeru tried to supress the tears that threatened to push past his carefully constructed defences.

"How do I fix this?"

His voice broke and tears started to flow from his eyes. His brother gave him a comforting smile.

"Well I can't tell you what to do, Takeru, but I think she needs to know that you love her back."

Takeru's eyes widened in surprise. He was shocked that his brother seemed to know what had happened earlier that day. He was even more shocked, however, that Yamato was implying that he had known Hikari was in love with him. How could his brother be so sure of that when he had never known himself?

"But in the meantime, I think she just needs some space." He put his hand on his brother's ankle and rubbed it reassuringly. "And I think you need some rest."

Takeru gave a hollow smile and nodded, still looking defeated.

"I guess I'll just go to bed."

"That's a good idea. I'll be around until you wake up."

"Thanks _onii-chan_." Takeru said as he made his way to his bed. His mind was still overflowing with thoughts, but they were slowly being replaced by a physical and emotional tiredness, despite it only being 3:00 in the afternoon.

"Anytime, little brother."

00000

Hikari had managed to complete her exam despite her distraction, though she had no idea how much of it was right. Now she sat on a Yurikamome train on her way to Odaiba. She wanted to go where he could never find her, but that was impossible. He knew her too well for her to be able to hide from him for long. So instead, she settle for putting enough physical distance between them to give her time to collect the pieces of her heart and put up some reasonable defences. More than she feared that he would find her, she feared that he would not. That he would be so disgusted with her that he wouldn't want to see her. She didn't want to face the possibility that he wouldn't love her as a friend anymore, in addition to not loving her as more than that.

Tears spilled from her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that day as she got into the elevator of the familiar apartment complex, and she was beyond fighting them now. She would be strong later. Her face was wet as she got out and approached the door that still had a sign that read "Yagami" that had been there as long as she could remember. She fished the key out of her haphazardly packed bag and opened the door, letting herself into her childhood home. In front of her stood her brother, as if he had been waiting for her arrival, and upon seeing him, whatever iota of composure she had been clinging to crumbled. She threw herself at her brother, sobbing uncontrollably.

"I've ruined everything…" was all she managed to choke out, before she melted into a puddle of tears in her brother's supportive embrace.

 **Note**

 **I always loved the sibling relationships in this show way more than the actual romantic ships. They're always just so supportive and loving so I had to include them.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**

 **I don't own Digimon or any of these characters.**

 _ **Chapter 5**_

Yamato, at sixteen years old, sat at home, trying to write a new song for his band. He would write down a line then scratch it out again immediately afterwards. He would occasionally pluck a string on his guitar, which was laid flat across his lap, but for the most part he sat staring at the empty page in front of him, his mind void of any ideas that were worth writing down. He barely noticed when his younger brother slumped into the house. Takeru hadn't lived with his brother and father since his parents divorced when he was only a small child, but he still had his own keys and was relentlessly reminded by both of them that he was welcome anytime.

"What's up little brother?" Yamato asked, still staring at the blank page in front of him.

He looked up when, after a while, he still hadn't received a response from the younger boy. To his surprise Takeru leaned against the wall, and tears silently laid their saline tracks down his cheeks. He tried to answer, it seemed, but the only noise that was produced was a choked gasp that broke Yamato's heart in two. The older boy stood up and walked over to his baby brother, who had finally worked up the strength to answer.

"She doesn't love me."

Yamato's heart broke in to smaller pieces now. He grabbed Takeru's hand.

"I guess there was a part of me," he said between sobs, "that thought that she turned down all those other boys because she was waiting for me," another sob, "but it wasn't me she was waiting for, it was _him_. Gou."

He slid to the floor, overcome by another wave of grief which caused new tears to fill his eyes, and fresh heartbreak to fill his voice.

"She's never going to love me the way I love her."

If there was anything left of Yamato's heart, it was pulverized to dust now. The pain in his brother's voice was so all consuming Yamato wondered if this was the supernatural darkness they had encountered before. It wasn't though. It wasn't a mystical force, but rather the side effect of a powerful love that was the reason his brother was now curled up on the floor, unable to think or do anything but cry until he fell asleep with his brother at his side, still clutching his shaking hand.

00000

Hikari woke, startled and confused before adjusting to her surroundings. The first thing that reassured her was the smell, which was so ingrained in her memory that she didn't think she'd ever forget it. The smell of her home was one of the most comforting things she could think of. Right now it was also mixed with the smell of something cooking. She would go check soon, but not yet.

She looked around now, taking in the appearance of her bedroom. It had changed since her youth, with the bunkbed being replaced by a double bed when Taichi had decided to move into the spare room. The walls had cycled through several different colours as she grew older and her tastes changed, though she still had a strong preference for pinks, as was reflected on the walls now. Her knick-knacks still adorned the desk and posters still hung on the walls.

She wiggled down further under her quilt, attempting to hold on to the moment of peace she was feeling before she was hit with the onslaught of emotions that was sure to come.

Surprisingly, when her feelings caught up with her they weren't as crippling as they had been. After she had spent a good part of the evening crying, her brother holding her and stroking her hair, he had carried her crumpled her form to bed around 8:00. She had felt like a small child as he held her hand and she fell into a much needed slumber.

After finally emerging from under the covers Hikari lazily stretched, enjoying the relative calm her sleep had afforded her despite the anxiety that began to seep in from the corners of her mind. She sorted through her bag for a sundress that she pulled on before leaving the sanctuary of her bedroom to investigate the pleasant smells coming from the kitchen.

Hikari was greeted by her mother, Yuuko, over the stove cooking eggs.

"Hey sleeping beauty, I hope you're hungry."

The eggs smelled delicious, and whatever was in the oven made the air around her smell sweet and warm. She was hungry. Ravenous, now that she thought about it.

"You were out for like, sixteen hours, I was beginning to think you were never going to wake up." Taichi, who was leaning against the counter that separated the kitchen and the living space, said.

At that she froze in her tracks. She hadn't realized it was currently nearly noon, she had been asleep for well over half of the day.

"I didn't realize." Her voice was hoarse, barely able to go above a whisper.

"You must have been really wiped, how do you feel now?" Her mum's voice was just as soothing to her now as it had been when she was a small child.

"Better." She thought back to the wreck she had been last night. "Much better. I guess skipping a full night of sleep wasn't my best decision."

"I keep saying that they put too much pressure on you at that school."

"I don't think that's really my problem, mum." She frowned as she took a seat at the end of the table.

When the food was ready her brother and mother joined her and they enjoyed a peaceful meal that made Hikari once again miss the simplicity of her life here.

It wasn't until later that afternoon, after Yuuko had left to run some errands that Taichi brought up the previous night's incident. The both sat on the couch, Taichi sprawled out lazily and Hikari with her knees curled up so she rested her chin on their tops, absently watching TV. Taichi fiddled with the remote, flipping through channels until he settled on a show about some bizarre species of predatory bird. Neither of them was focused on it fully.

"Do you want to talk about what happened with Takeru?"

Hikari's eyes widened and her fingertips, which had previously been indolently sliding up and down her calves froze. Her body stiffened and her stomach turned over at the sound of his name.

"How did you know it was him?" Hikari, in all her crying the night before, had never taken the time to explain what had led her to that point. In fact, outside of the three words she'd uttered upon entering the apartment, she hadn't spoken at all. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't think of a reason that Taichi had been home at all yesterday, he should have been at the bank where he worked evening shifts.

"And why were you here instead of working?"

"Hikari, there's only one person I know of that you care deeply enough about to get that kind of reaction out of you. As for why I wasn't at work, Yamato called me from Takeru's place and told me you had run off. I figured this was there you'd come."

"Oh." Was all Hikari said.

Taichi remarked that she hadn't actually answered his original question, but if she didn't want to talk about it he wouldn't push. He turned his attention back to the screen where he saw the bird swoop down to capture its prey. A few moments passed, during which Hikari considered how much of the story it was acceptable to tell her older brother.

"I pulled an all-nighter." That wasn't really the opening she had been planning on, but she was stuck with it now. "At Takeru's apartment, because he had a concussion. Anyways in the morning I was really tired and stressed I guess about my midterm…" She was rambling she knew, but she wanted to postpone telling the part of the story where she inadvertently destroy the most precious thing in her life.

"We were talking and I accidentally said… something… something I shouldn't have said…" Her voice was starting to tremble a bit, "and I don't even our friendship can survive this."

She buried her face in her knees. Taichi sat up and leaned forward to place a reassuring hand on his sister's back, and rubbed it in gentle circles.

"Hikari, there is literally nothing that your friendship with Takeru can't survive, you will find a way to be friends again… But I have to ask you something."

She turned her head to face her older brother.

"Is it really what you want, to go back to being just his friend? Because there's obviously a part of you- the part that confessed to him yesterday—that wants more than that."

Hikari should have been more surprised that her brother had pieced together what exactly had happened, and that he knew that she had feelings for Takeru, but she wasn't really. Taichi had always been far more perceptive than anyone gave him credit for. Taichi watched, his hand still on his little sister's back, as she seemed to finally accept something that he knew she had been stifling for years.

"No," Hikari said, letting out a sigh that was somewhere between relief and trepidation. "That's not what I want. But if being close to him means staying just friends then it's worth it."

Taichi accepted this silently and laid back down on the couch.

" _Onii-chan_?" She was looking at the TV, but her mind was elsewhere.

"Yeah Hikari?"

"Thanks for being here." She smiled at him warmly. It was a relief to finally give a smile that wasn't forced.

"Always."

They both settled in to a comfortable, familiar silence.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer**

 **I don't own Digimon or any of these characters.**

 _ **Chapter 6**_

On Saturday Takeru finally ventured out of the safe haven of his apartment. He had spent the previous day resisting the temptation to call his best friend, trying to give her the space that Yamato had said that she needed. He knew that his older brother was right, and he should leave her be for the time being, but this morning the need to see her overpowered this knowledge and he made his way to campus to find her.

The air was crisp, but the sun was bright, and he realized how long it had been since he'd actually been outside. When he arrived at her building he followed the familiar route up to the fourth floor and to her room. He had a final moment of guilt over breaking his vow not to bother her, which made him hesitate with his hand hovering centimetres from the door, but he continued on anyways. He knocked. He knocked again. The blonde boy started to panic at the thought that she wouldn't be there. Somehow he hadn't considered that as a possibility.

A voice from behind him made him jump. He turned around to meet the eyes of a tall, slim girl with a mess of curly hair.

"You're looking for Hikari, right? She left a few days ago, and asked me to look after her floor. I'm the RA from floor 5."

Takeru's mouth was suddenly dry. She was gone. He didn't know where to find her.

"Did she say when she would be back? Or where she went?"

"Sorry, no." The girl said, shaking her head.

"OK." He now felt sort of sick to his stomach as he realized he had done more damage than he thought. He excused himself and left the building, but instead of going home as he intended to do, he kept walking, with no destination at all in mind.

It was nearly an hour later when Takeru realized where his feet had been leading him this whole time. In front of him still stood the boards of an ice skating rink that held more memories for him than any other single place, aside from his and the Yagami's apartments.

Hikari loved the winter, and almost anything that went along with it, but skating was by far her favorite part of that frigid season. Her parents had tried to have her sign up for figure skating lessons, then hockey when she had refused that, but the delicate girl had always felt happiest when she was on the ice with no expectations, even just skating in circles around the perimeter of the rink. Takeru loved seeing her like that; cheeks the loveliest shade of pink and her face lit up with joy as she dragged him along behind her until they settled into a comfortable pace, still holding each other's hands tightly. They spent countless hours like this every winter, sometimes an easy conversation would flow between them, and sometimes they didn't exchange words, but merely enjoyed the company.

It was one memory in particular that had drawn him here though.

They had had plans. He knew that when his boyfriend Ren had asked him to go to the movies during the winter break of their final year in junior high, but he agreed anyways, cancelling on Hikari at the last minute. He had sort of assumed that she wouldn't go without him, but she went despite her disappointment.

Takeru was the reason that late at night, alone, Hikari had trudged her way through the snow to skate around the deserted rink. He was also the reason that when her feet slid out from under her and she landed hard on her right arm, breaking her radius near the wrist, she had to get up, remove her skates, pull on her boots and trudge all the way home without help. It was his fault that she had to find her way to the hospital alone after returning home to find the house empty, calling her best friend for help and getting no answer as he was too busy with the boyfriend he would break up with only a few weeks later.

It was no wonder she hadn't been able to look at him when he greeted her at school the next day, and saw what his actions had done to the girl he loved. He had let her down then by not being there, and he wasn't going to make the same mistake now.

He spun and started to walk back in the direction from which he came. He wasn't sure exactly at what point he started to run, but his need to get to her pushed his athletic legs to move faster and faster, only stopping when he reached his apartment building. It was only a stop along the way. He hadn't been able to reach her on her cell phone since Thursday, but he could reach someone who could help him.

Takeru scrolled though his contacts to find Taichi and pressed the call button as he let himself into his apartment. The phone rang as he sprinted for the back corner of his living room where his desk was covered in notes and pile of textbooks loomed. Another ring as he threw open the drawer, he knew exactly where his target was. He found it and pocketed it just as the next ring was cut short by the familiar voice of Yagami Taichi.

"Hello?"

"Taichi!" Takeru practically shouted into the phone. "Where's Hikari? I need to talk to her."

"I don't know, Takeru, where were you two days ago?"

"Giving her space, but I realized that I never want to have space between us again." It wasn't his most eloquent moment, but it was good enough for Taichi.

"She's at our place. She's alone right now."

Takeru wasn't sure if that last part was an invitation or a warning but he didn't care.

"Thanks Taichi." He hung up before the older boy could respond. The blonde boy left his apartment, quickly locking the door before leaving for Odaiba.

00000

It was a short while later that he arrived at the doorstep of the Yagami household. He had calmed down significantly since leaving his building, and but he was still a bit on the jumpy side. He rang the doorbell was greeted moments later by the beautiful face he hadn't been able to forget for the past decade. Her eyes were not as bright as usual and although she was dressed to her normal calibre in a yellow sundress, something about her posture told Takeru that the past two days had been hard on her.

Something changed in her face when she recognized the blonde boy on the other side of the door. Hikari felt as if a wound he reopened when she saw his face, but her hopes about the reason behind his visit were enough to move her muscles to open the door for him. He smiled at her as he entered and she smiled weakly back at him.

Takeru found himself frazzled as he started to talk.

"I was skating today. No, not skating. I was thinking today… about skating. About you skating. And then you broke your arm because I went to the movies but it didn't matter because I broke up with him right after. What am I saying? It did matter, that's why it mattered…"

Hikari stared at him blankly. Had he come here just to ramble at her about the time she broke her arm? His presence here was painful enough at the moment, but thinking of that time was only making it more painful. The physical pain of the injury hadn't been nearly as bad as the pain of him turning his back on her, however inadvertent it had been.

"Then I saw your cast and how I hurt you and I had to be here now. Because… Remember Gou? I didn't like him, but it wasn't his fault, it was yours, or mine maybe, because he was your first love. And I had to watch you be happy with him and with the others…"

He trailed off, realizing from the still empty expression of the girl across from him that he wasn't accomplishing what he had set out to do.

"Takeru, you're not making any sense." Hikari's tone matched her expression.

"I know, I'm sorry, I just have a lot of things I need to say." He pulled the envelope he had fished out of his desk earlier out of his pocket and thrust it at the brunette.

She looked at it briefly before grabbing it between her fingers as if she was afraid it might bite her. She looked down at the purple envelope that had a postage stamp in one corner and return address of Takaishi Takeru written on the other corner. Her name was written in the middle in a childish scrawl. She looked up at the boy standing in front of her.

"I wrote it when I got home after we went to the digital world together for the first time. I didn't know where to send it so I just sort of forgot about it, but I think there's some important stuff in there." He had calmed down significantly now, even forming complete sentences.

Hikari returned her attention to the envelope in her hands. She carefully slid her fingers under the flap and tore it open. She gingerly removed the surprisingly weighty piece of children's stationary inside, on which there was a message written in careful letters.

 _Dear Hikari,_

 _We had such a big adventure together, and it was really scary sometimes, but I always felt better when I held on to your hand. You are the bravest person I know. I think you're perfect and I hope we're always together._

 _Love, Takeru_

She couldn't help but smile as she pictured tiny Takeru meticulously writing each letter of the message. She also felt a pang of sadness as she realized that the message was one of friendship. He was telling her that he wanted to be her friend. Only her friend. Tears started to well in her eyes and she turned away from him as she started to cry. Strong arms wrapped around her from behind and he rested his chin on top of her head.

"That's great Takeru, you want to be friends!" she was trying so hard to sound happy but through her tears she sounded a bit manic.

"Hikari, I wanted to be your friend right from the get-go, and you are. And I think that will always be the most important part of our relationship. But you should really turn over that paper."

Hikari turned it over, just like he said, and it took a few moments for her eyes to sift through what she saw there. There was a small drawing of the two of them holding hands that had been carefully coloured in by his small hands. But there was something else taped to the back of the letter. She reached out to delicately trace with her fingertips the tiny silver band. With her nails she pulled back the tape that held it in place and, once it was freed, she carefully examined the artifact.

It was very small, obviously meant for a child to wear, and it had a soft pink heart shaped stone set into it. She turned it in her fingers as Takeru, who still had has arms wrapped around her waist, spoke.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not proposing or anything. I saved up all my money back then—which admittedly wasn't that much- to get you that ring, because even as a stupid little kid I knew that you were special, and that I loved you. Even then I knew that you were the person I wanted to spend my whole life with. I was in love with you from the moment I met you, Hikari, and no matter how many times I told myself to stop, I've been in love with you ever since."

There it was. The words that had been buried deep for over a decade were out in the open and Takeru felt such an immense relief. That relief quickly turned to desperation as she removed herself form his arms. He tried fiercely to hold on to her. She stepped away from him a few steps before turning to face him. Her beautiful face was raw with emotion.

"I thought you didn't want to see me." She choked out, still crying. "I thought you didn't love me like that."

She continued, but laughter was bubbling up as joy coursed through her body from the very heart of her to the extremes of her fingers and toes.

"You mean to say that we wasted twelve years not being together?"

Takeru's anxiety disappeared as quickly as it had come. A similar elation settle over him as he laughed with her and in perfect synchronicity they wrapped themselves around each other. Takeru's arms were around the petite brunette's waist and her arms had found their way around his neck. The fingers of one hand clutched at the back of his neck, and the others had wound themselves in his golden hair, pulling him down so every inch of them was touching. His hands wouldn't keep still, as if they needed to confirm for themselves that every inch of his best friend was really there, holding him. His fingers felt the delicate curve of her waist before they traced up her spine and spread out over her shoulder, pulling her closer as he buried his head in her hair.

It was several minutes later, after the laughter had faded and they were simply holding each other, enjoying the physical contact that neither had realized they were so dependent on, that Hikari spoke.

"Gou wasn't my first love, Takeru, you were. I loved you from the start too, and none of those other boys are going to hold a candle to this."

It was with those words that she pulled back from him just enough that she could slide a hand down to cup his soft cheek. His blue eyes stared down at her, full of wonder, and relief as he finally gave in to this immense love; and her warm brown eyes rose to meet his with all the same feelings swimming in them. Both pairs of eyes closed as Takeru, unable to stop himself leaned down to meet her lips with his own.

The kiss was gentle and loving. At first their lips made only the lightest of contact, teasing, then both of them leaned into it. Hikari was almost in disbelief that this moment was real. She had to remind herself that it was really him that was holding her tightly, his lips tracing delicate patterns on her jaw, her neck, her collarbone. At the same time though, this felt like something that had always been a part of their relationship, so organic it was. They fell into a rhythm that was both familiar and exciting. When Takeru brushed his tongue across her lips, hers parted, giving his mouth new territory to explore. His hands also took advantage of this new permission, memorizing her skin.

They stayed like this for what felt like an eternity, but to the pair it was nowhere near long enough. Afterwards they sat on the couch in exulted silence. Takeru had his hands around her waist as she snuggled into him. Hikari had his hands in either of hers pulling his arms still tighter around herself. His head rested on her shoulder as they lounged and he was unable to stop himself from turning his head once in a while to kiss her neck, or nibble on her ear.

Both of them had forgotten the pain that they had each felt in the previous days, it was erased so easily by their enjoyment of each other. Eventually someone else would find them, or some other need would cause them to separate from one another, even just for a short while. But for now that could just bask in the overwhelming love that they felt for each other. This was perfect.

Note

I hope this wasn't underwhelming. I'm not entirely happy with it, so let me know how you think it could be improved.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer**

 **I don't own Digimon or any of these characters.**

 _ **Chapter 7**_

On Tuesday, late morning, Hikari stood in front of the open fridge in the kitchen of Takeru's apartment. She wore only one of his oversized button-down shirts. It was a cliché, she knew, but she enjoyed the look and feel of it anyways. She appraised the contents of the refrigerator and concluded that, unless she wanted to eat a dubious looking plain chicken breast or what appeared to be some kind of toxic waste, she would be eating dry cereal for breakfast. They had eaten almost all the food in the house in the past few days while they were barricaded in. She heard the satisfying click of the kettle finishing its job and she poured hot water into his mug before grabbing a box of Froot Loops from on top of the fridge where the cereal lived. Tea in one hand and breakfast in the other she made her way back into his bedroom.

She carefully put the mug of tea down on his bedside table before sitting on the edge of the bed where he still lay sleeping. She took a long look at him. He wore only a pair of boxers, leaving most of his beautiful body exposed. The tattoo which hardly anyone would ever see, now felt like a little piece of art, just for her, which was displayed in her own private art gallery. His body held the same familiarity as all other aspects of his being, but like all those other things, her new perspective made it all the more exciting, and there were always new parts of his body to explore.

She opened her box of Froot Loops and popped a handful into her moth before leaning down to rustle the bag directly next to his ear. He blinked awake and rolled over from his position facing away from her to lie on his back. From this position he took the time to look her over. She looked beautiful as always, but most importantly she looked happy.

"I made you a cup of tea." She pointed to the mug on the table, "And I made breakfast."

She smiled playfully and shook the box of Froot Loops before grabbing another small handful to eat. Takeru smiled and shook his head lightly.

"You really are perfect."

He sat up quickly and grabbed her by the hips, lying back down and pulling her with him. She had to drop the cereal box to avoid dumping them all over the bed. Now she hovered over him, her hands on his chest supporting her weight. She bent down to kiss him—a quick peck at first, then another, then another as, without realizing it, she shifted so she straddled his waist.

Their kiss deepened. Desire pushed her hand to move down towards his waist, and she hooked her index finger under the elastic of his boxers.

"Don't we have somewhere to be this morning?"

He interrupted their kiss as well as her train of thought. But she was pleased to see that, despite his words, he had begun unbuttoning the shirt she wore and his mouth immediately returned to hers. A few seconds later he pulled away and raised his eyebrows, expecting a response. She growled in frustration.

"Yes." Her short brown hair brushed his shoulders as she leaned down to lay feathery kisses against his neck and jaw, making him shiver.

"But we can be a bit late." She finished.

He nodded, finally undoing the last few buttons on her shirt- or rather, his shirt. He then flipped her onto her back and took a few moments to appreciate her exposed body before creating a trail of kisses in a line from her collarbone down her stomach. He stopped as he reached the base of her delicately toned abdominal muscles, making her squirm a bit in anticipation.

"I agree." He gave her a playful smile. "After all, I never gave you a proper thank you for the cup of tea."

00000

At 1:00 two generations of chosen children were piled into the Yagami apartment waiting for the final two members to join them. It was rare to see them all in one place now, as they had all scattered over the years. Taichi looked around at the faces he knew well. Despite their growing older, these were still his friends.

Yamato and Sora, who sat to his right, had remained the closest to the original leader, all three of them choosing to remain in Tokyo to pursue their respective dreams. Sora, after spending the year after graduating high school playing competitive soccer for a very well established women's team, had chosen to continue soccer as a hobby while pursuing a fine arts degree which was now almost complete. Yamato was currently enormously successful in his music career and would probably continue to enjoy success for years to come.

Next to them sat the youngest member of their group, still having the same dignified presence he had had as a young child. He hadn't, however, grown as significantly as they thought he would, so he still remained below average height for his age. Iori was in his final year of high school and had been accepted to Kyoto University for pre-law.

Jyou sat to the right of the small, serious boy. He, quite predictably, had received his undergraduate degree from Tokyo University before moving to Poland to study medicine. He had struggled with the high pressure of academics at first, but had found his stride in medical school, excelling in all facets of his program.

Taichi looked to his left where Miyako stood. Her appearance had changed a lot since that adventure, years ago. Her purple hair was styled into a long bob and she had downsized her glasses. But she was fundamentally the same smart and excitable person. She was taking the Tokyo institute of Technology by storm as she earned an undergraduate degree in mechatronics engineering.

Standing across from Taichi was the second generation leader next to the gentle boy who was the most recent recruit of their team. Daisuke had left on his own adventure immediately after high school, exploring the country trying to find his passion, and collecting experiences along the way. Last year Ken had decided to put his university education on hold for the time being. He hadn't really been sure what he was studying towards, so instead he joined Daisuke on his travels. Together they enjoyed a nomadic way of living, and their personalities balanced perfectly making them perfect as travel companions and life partners. They always had been best when they were together.

Koushiro, who had maintained contact with all the chosen children, had completed his Bachelors of Computing and now worked on his Master's thesis, researching the digital world. He lived in America, though, so it was rare to see him in person, except for Mimi who sat next to him now. They saw each other as frequently as possible, but lived a good day's travel apart with Koushirou living in San Francisco and Mimi exploring farther up the coast with her current paramour, leaving a trail of unsuspecting followers in her wake.

Taichi always felt a strange pride when he saw how far they had all come with help from one another. And that pride was especially strong now as they all settle into easy conversation. There were two members who had not yet joined them.

"Where are those two? They were supposed to be here an hour ago!" It was Miyako who said what they were all thinking. She sounded irritated.

"Do you think something's wrong? Should we call?" Koushirou asked, not taking his eyes off the screen of his smart phone, which had held his attention since he arrived.

"I don't think that's it." Taichi mumbled. He had a strong suspicion as to why they would both be late, after he had come home Saturday night to find them apparently glued together. He had sent them back to school where they had promptly dropped off the face of the earth. He chose not to think too hard about what his sister had been up to.

"Give them a bit longer." It was Yamato who said this, the only other person in the room who was relatively up to date on what had happened in the previous week.

It was at exactly that moment that the door burst open to reveal the two missing members of the group. Despite having the entire trip there to compose themselves, they both looked slightly dishevelled. Hikari's hair stood up just a little bit at the back and their outfits were obviously chosen for convenience instead of for taste. Both of them were panting lightly from having run from the train station, the elevator ride had not given them enough time to rest. After several awkward moments of the pair starting at the group and the group staring at them, Hikari opened her mouth.

"Sorry we're late" It was a squeak, really.

Everyone was startled when Mimi guffawed from her place on the couch. A fraction of a second later, with Mimi still laughing, Miyako shouted.

"Ayyyyy! Nice going Hikari."

Daisuke grinned and started to slow clap, until Ken elbowed him in the ribs. Ken was smiling in understanding as well though, as was most of the room.

"Took you guys long enough, didn't it?" Daisuke said teasingly.

Hikari's face turned bright red and she looked at Takeru in panic. His cheeks were almost as bright and he had a look of panic in his blue eyes. As he looked at the girl next to him, however, his embarrassment turned to amusement. He took in how rumpled she looked and couldn't help but laugh at how they must look to the rest of the room. His bright smile made a smile twitch at the corner of Hikari's mouth too. Takeru carefully reached out to smooth out the little rooster tail at the back of her head, then offered her his hand.

She took his hand as they both turned to face their friends and, somehow both having the same idea, he took a dramatic bow and she curtsied next to him. They made their way to stand among their closest group of friends. It was amazing how easily everyone seemed to accept the new couple, almost as if they had always existed. They settled into the joking and congratulations and excitedly set off on their plans for the day. The new couple looked forward to all the gatherings like this in the future, and all the new adventures they would have.

As long as they were together, everything was perfect.

Note

I'm just going to go ahead and say that oral is seriously underrepresented in smutty fanfiction. Like, what's wrong with just eating a girl out and enjoying the fact that she's enjoying herself? I realize my perspective as a raging lesbian makes me biased, but still. Anyways, this was my story, hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know how I did, and thanks so much for reading!


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